I am just in a freakin’ weird mood today. It all started with a simple thought, “I wish I could draw”. Now before y’all (break out a little Ohio hillbilly here) get excited and try to talk me into believing that anyone can draw, let me tell you something. I think it might have something to do with the MMN (Multifocal Motor Neuropathy) I have, but even as a young teenager at church camp, girls standing next to me were asking why I was shaking. A the time, of course, I had my arms around the waists of two lovely girls – one on each side (you know, boy-girl-boy-girl…). Hey, it was a liberal church camp in the early 70’s and peace, love, and flower children still had a place in society. But anyway, seriously, I cannot draw a simple circle that looks anything like a circle. Now, if I had been trying to draw a lopsided egg with acne, it might have worked. I can’t draw a straight line without curves, bumps, and little jerky things all over it. I just don’t have any steadiness at all in my muscles. NO, it is not a matter of seeing what I want to draw, I can see it fine, hitting the mark is the problem. After all these years, I STILL cannot color within the lines. Thank God for paint programs with bucket-fill.
Well, this led to the next thought of “what would you do if you could draw?”. This is where it gets weird.
I would draw a picture of a cat (bring cats into the mix and you always have a winner) spread-eagle on the glass of a copy machine, and call it…………”catscan”.
How about a cat sitting in the business end of a drawn slingshot…………….”catapult”.
One we have all seen numerous times before, a scene having similarities to a room hit by a tornado, with a couple of cats lookin’ all “What, I didn’t see nothin'” like the sneaky little bastards thought you would miss the double negative there. Of course, what else could it be but……………”catastrophe”.
WARNING: Those troubled by violent graphic images should just skip this one. A mangled up and bloody mess of a cat along the side of the road………..”category”.
Stop me anytime, I could keep doing this all day…
A cat in motion on its hind legs…………”catwalk”.
A cat at a desk in spectacles, writing in a ledger………….”catalog”.
Some words need no picture, like “catnap”, “catfight”, “caterwaul”, “catnip”, “cattiness”….we ALL know why THEY start with “cat”.
A circle of cats surrounding a tall slender stone monument, a spiritual symbol of feline “catechism”…………..”caterpillar”.
A cat’s claws firmly entrenched in a woman’s long flowing hair, slowly sliding towards the ground, as gravity exerts its inevitable force,………..”catacomb”.
OK, enough, enough, my head is about to explosively catabolize, resulting in a personal cataclysm, or send me running for Catatmandu (cat spelling of Katmandu) for some seriously needed R & R.
So, that is why I wish I could draw.