It’s Monday Again…Read With Caution!

(NOTE: Random cat pic has nothing to do with the content of this post.  It is here for the sole (or soul) purpose of attracting your attention).

I don’t have any specific reason for hating Mondays, other than always feeling extra tired and crappy. Haven’t ever figured out why. Maybe always relaxing and taking it easy on weekends produces some “withdrawal” effect or something.

After having accounts on a few dating sites now for about 10-15 years or so, and never getting anywhere I want to go with them, I decided to cancel my accounts. I go through this cycle quite regularly (except for the cancelling part). I send out a bunch of messages to ladies who I think might have some slight interest in getting to know me (let’s say a batch of about 40). I usually get a small number of responses back. At least one or two are from respectful and considerate women informing me that they are indeed NOT in the slightest interested in knowing more about me. I may message back and forth a few times with one or three who suddenly are never to be heard from again. Out of the final one or two, I actually manage to take them out on a “date”…well, at least a “meet and greet”. You know what comes next – at least one of them is a no-match, either from her side or from mine.

If there is anyone left at this point, then I usually get to date her several more times before that final potential relationship goes “south”. At this point, I may decide to give it another go, and send out more messages (it feels too much like applying for a job). By the end of that round I am sure to be disgusted with the whole thing, and crawl back into “Merlin’s” man-cave to spend any number of months practicing the art of living a Hermit’s existence, until loneliness catches up to me and I do it all over again.

So in 10-15 years of sporadic online dating, I have found a couple of acquaintances, but no lasting relationships. Thus, this time I have decided to just give up on the online dating scene (for awhile anyway), as it seems to be working oh, so WELL for me so far. There has to be something better!

So I cancel my OKCupid account, and I surf over to my Plenty Of Fish (POF) account to do the same there, and what do you know….ya, you guessed it – I have a message waiting for me. OK, I do not have a high expectation for this prospect, but I would be remiss if I did not at least check this one out. So far, she does not really “seem” like the type of person who would make a good long-term partner for me, but let’s just keep an open mind to it. All will become evident with time. In one day, we went from messaging to talking on the phone – that is a good sign. I predict that we will meet in person this week sometime. From there, it is anyone’s guess. Who knows, I might actually get “lucky” this time.

So far I have not said anything about all the other incidental frustrations and problems with online dating sites (at least the free ones). There are more than a few men and women simply looking for a hand-out. I understand that our society has made it very difficult for so many people to simply meet their own survival needs, much less thrive as human beings. It does not surprise me at all that there would be so many who are trying to get a little (or lot of) help from others. Of course, some of these people ARE actually just lazy, and want someone to take care of them just like their parents did in the years prior to them getting “booted” out the door by those same disgruntled and thoroughly disgusted parents. Then there are the outright scams to separate the weak and trusting from their hard-earned money. There are all the women from “Ghana”, and the men in the “military” preying on anyone who will listen (these are two of the most common scams I have experienced, or heard women tell about – it does NOT mean that every lady from Ghana, or every military man is a scammer).

Then there are all those just looking for a good time. To tell the truth, most people are ultimately looking for sex, but on one hand are the players of both sexes, and on the other are those who want a sex partner, but who want it to last much longer than just a night or two. There are a small smattering of folks who actually only want a friend (platonic) or a pen pal. The problem with the players is that they never identify themselves up front, it is only after they get what they came for, and vanish into the sunset, that you find out the truth. So, you just have to take your chances. Then there are those who only want to sext, have phone or cyber sex, or just want to trade nudie pics.

So, the whole free dating site scene is not that conducive to finding long-term stable relationship partners unless you are willing to put in the time and effort to weed through the players, scams, and non-matches to get to the rare match. Some are willing to do that, but the level of physical energy I have to put into it is not that great, and we have not yet considered the cost of gas, food, and entertainment that dating requires (I am pretty short on that as well). It is perfectly OK for some people, but just is not working to my advantage.

So I think I will concentrate more on my blog, my health, and my spiritual life, and hope that there is someone left out there for me, and that God will bring us together.

All – in -all, seems like a typical grouchy Monday. Hey, it can only get better from here!

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19 thoughts on “It’s Monday Again…Read With Caution!”

  1. I wish you luck with your “possible” date this week. I’ve given up on dating sites as well, but mine are more like eHarmony, Christian Mingle, and OKCupid… I’ve deleted all but one account. And so far have left one up, but I have it fixed where no new men come to my page. I guess I should cancel it and save some money….lol

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hello and thanks for checking out my blog…I met my current husband on e-harmony and we have been married for 8 years…yes a real fairy tale story from a dating site…I am as surprised as you…I had been single for about 13 years…had a couple “Friends with benefits” relationships but nothing I wanted to last forever…I had tried the dating sites, most of the men I met, at least I thought they were men, wanted only one thing….sex…it was never about a lasting relationships…so I begged off all the sites, gave in to the fact that I would be a single old woman soon and got myself a beautiful border collie from one of our rescues, so now at least I had a friend who loved me unconditionally…LOL Till one Friday night, feeling sorry for myself, perhaps it was the wine….but a free weekend of e-harmony flashed across the TV screen…what the hell I said…so I got through the 50 pages of questions, and started my search…I woke up to 2 new messages in my in box…one was a man wiht 2 small children…no thanks, been there done that, didn’t want to raise someone else kids…so I checked out #2, know my sister always told me I should date a German…he was German, a widower and looking for a companion and a friend in life….why not I said, I answered his note…he must of been sitting on the computer because he replied immediately…so back and forth a few times….then a call, then we met….was it love at first sight…no, but he was on of the nicest men I had ever met, he was like meeting one of the men from my family, a good man with respect for himself. never asked about my under garments, didn’t care I was a little heavy, just a nice guy….his home, that’s where I met him, why not go to the devils den first time….he was 13 years older than I…that was a plus, someone settled in life…wiser…financially stable, owned his own home, all plus’s in my book…as I walked into his home, all I felt was love and respect for ones self…his wife of 44 years came with him from Germany and created this home…she was 18 years his elder and he had lost her a couple years earlier….nice guy….didn’t even know what a red flag was…LOL we dated and in 6 months I moved in, then engaged and married and the rest is history….I got to retire in my late 50’s and am enjoying our life together traveling around the USA…so don’t give up…its funny where you can find that one person…dating was difficult for me…I was not a club/bar person, didn’t go to church. I was a homebody so meeting people was difficult…I again have faith that there is someone out there, somewhere for everybody…..kathy

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    1. Thank you for the great story! I am definitely not saying that you can’t meet real decent people on a free dating site. It is just a lot of hard work and frustration. I do believe that the pay sites, like eHarmony are probably different and hopefully better, but I don’t have money to spend on them. Congrats that it worked out for you!

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      1. I was like you….only the free sites…and when e-harmony gave free weekends…there were a couple times I didn’t even qualify to get on e harmony..LOL said they wouldn’t be able to match me up….talk about a kick in the ole self esteem….good thing I take most things with a grain of salt….LOL nothing wrong with free sites…

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    1. Thank you for the link and shout-out! Kitties are good, but then goes to show that some people will follow anyone…8*) I am also one of those weird people who find medical information quite interesting.

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  3. Online dating is like having all the garage sales in the world online. There are a few treasures and finds…and a lot of other people’s crap that no one wants. LOL

    POF is like the “free” bin at the yard sale. Once in awhile, something of value…the rest are future landfill occupants. (I met the hubs there so I speak from experience….)

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    1. Interesting thought! So, until I can actually find a “trophy wife”, I might be able to find someone to sit in that place on my empty shelf, by looking in the POF “free” bin? Well, I guess that is “some” kind of hope…lol

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  4. I used to wonder often about the success in finding an actual soul-mate via the web. If anything, I do believe its a great place to find a friend (or occassional friend with “benefits”) but it must be so rare to click with someone romantically. Don’t you wish they still had those balls like back in the Jane Austen “Pride & Prejudice” days. They’d just have a huge dance with a room full of un-betrothed folk and usually they’d leave with a future wife/husband! Simple times eh? 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me! You may not guess it from reading my posts, but I am very shy, especially with women. It does not really help me in finding dates…lol

      I really wish women had more balls in just blurting it out when they are attracted to me. It would make my life easier (or I might discover that none of them are ever interested in me). But I also realize that women have the same fears of rejection as men do when it comes to revealing their inner feelings. Somehow I don’t think the societies of the past had an easier time of it. I think a lot of the rich and famous ended up, maybe rather easily, in very unsatisfying “arranged” marriages. But you and I can both dream of a better world in which it is possible for all to easily find their true soulmates. Dream on…..

      Liked by 1 person

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