Category Archives: Personal

My Own Cumulative Dieting Wisdom

These are all the factors I have found (over many years of “trial and error”) to be necessary in order for ME to consistently (finally) lose weight, and not get hungry.  If you have found that your body resists every attempt to shed pounds, even though you have stayed consistent with a lower calorie diet plan, like a 1200 calorie “balanced” diet, maybe there is a thought or two here that might help.  Every person is different, and what works for me, may not work for you.  However, I am sure there are many people out there who have similar experiences and body types, who might benefit from this blog post.

NOTE: I am not a doctor or dietitian.  Do not take anything in this post as medical advice.  This my experience, and I share it with you in case it might be helpful.  Your failure to consult proper medical and nutritional counselling is completely your responsibility, not mine. Anything posted here is purely my own experience, and the dietary opinions shared are just that, my own opinions.

I have been at this game since childhood…mostly unsuccessfully. It is through combining ALL the knowledge I have gained over the years into one plan for eating, that I am finally doing it successfully.  Just for your information, I am a 58-year old, disabled, and sedentary male.  My past highest weight was about 350 pounds.  I lost about 50 pounds many years ago, by convincing a doctor to prescribe Metformin to me, even though I am not diabetic and my fasting blood sugars are consistently in the 90’s.  It took about 9 months of taking it before I suddenly started dropping weight, even though I was not following any particular diet at the time.  I am currently at 248 pounds, and consistently losing weight.


RULE: NO diet will work, with which a person is uncomfortable, unhappy, constantly hungry, or unable to follow for the long term. The only diet which has the possibility of working long-term is one which fits comfortably with the lifestyle, needs, and tastes of the person. It must be a style of eating which satisfies hunger and is palatable. A diet which allows weight loss over time, is the same type which will allow the person to keep it off after the goal weight is achieved. Anything else will lead to “yoyo” dieting, and can only end badly (from personal experience).

NOTE: You may have to LEARN to “like” a new style of eating.  This is doable, at least for me.  I will not insult you by making the very false and condescending statement – “if I can do it, anyone can”.  This can only be true when all caveats and prerequisites are first met. Everyone has different abilities and motivations. Just because a person may “currently” find it impossible to change how they are eating, does not mean they won’t sometime find the motivation and strength to make the necessary changes.  Don’t give up!

1. Low carb diet. Avoid fruits, starches, grains, and other high carb foods. This is NOT a no carb diet, although, if results are not seen, an initial period (i.e. TEMPORARY and short-term) of NO carbs may be needed to stimulate an initial decrease in insulin resistance, to the point where a more reasonable and “livable” daily diet will then continue to allow weight loss.

2. No “high glycemic index” starches, especially corn, rice, and potatoes. They contain carbs which may stimulate the pancreas to excrete too much insulin, too quickly, into the system to handle the carbs. This may lead to higher insulin resistance, and over time, to pancreas exhaustion and type 2 diabetes in individuals who are prone to it.

3. No grains. They have too many carbs, and contain the highest levels of Monsanto Roundup herbicide (glycophosphates) of all foods (along with corn, peas, potatoes, soybeans, and many other crops, and to a lesser degree all other foods grown in the US). Glycophosphates have been classed as a “probable carcinogen” by the International Agency for Research on Cancer (IARC) and the World Health Organization (WHO). In addition, they have been hypothesized to MAYBE contribute to type 2 diabetes and insulin resistance (I have not yet found definitive studies to back that up).

4. No foods with added sugar or high fructose corn syrup. Also try to avoid additives such as maltodextrin. Sugars are believed to be the main factor in widespread obesity and type 2 diabetes, especially in the USA. They attack by greatly and quickly increasing insulin levels in the blood stream. This is possibly the number one factor in weight gain and type 2 diabetes. Sugar substitutes such as “Nutrasweet” may yet cause problems for me, but they are not preventing me from losing weight. I think the jury is still out on those. Plus, I think it affects some people more than others. I do not seem to be having a problem with them myself.  Sure, there are many who can tolerate all the sugar, and never have a problem with diabetes or obesity…I am not one of them.

5. No highly processed red meat (especially bacon and hot dogs). I am avoiding all red meat. I am also limiting my use of poultry products. There is a lot of speculation, and many unknowns involved with the use of growth hormones and antibiotics in the meat industries. A recent study shows that nonhuman sialic acid N-glycolylneuraminic acid (Neu5Gc), stimulates an immune system response in humans, may lead to inflammation, and may also play a role in type 2 diabetes. (the research study) (JAMA)

6. Reduce sodium intake to at, or below the FDA DV(Daily Value), increase potassium intake to above sodium intake, and attempt get somewhere close to the DV for potassium. Reduce salt, increase “natural” potassium. Potassium supplements can cause too high a potassium level in the body, leading to trouble. “Trouble” is much less likely to happen through intake of the natural potassium in foods.  Not everyone is sensitive to higher levels of salt, but others may experience edema or high blood pressure as a result of high intake levels of salt and/or not enough potassium to balance the body’s all-important electrolytes.

7. No, or very little alcohol. The subject of alcohol and fat is incredibly controversial, with experts on both sides. Here are some things I know. While the body is burning the alcohol, it completely stops burning carbs and fat. So while you drink, at a minimum you are putting off weight loss. Alcohol messes with several hormones, particularly by increasing cortisol, which is directly related to the storage of “belly fat”. Heavy drinking likely leads to more severe health issues…ever heard of liver failure? Mixed drinks usually have lots of sugar in them to make them palatable – don’t do it, the sugar may go directly into fat storage. Alcohol may also increase appetite, especially for things which are salty (chips, pretzels, etc.) and greasy. Coupled with the reduced self-control it sometimes brings, a binge of drinking can also be accompanied with binge snacking and eating.

8. No trans-fats. Keep saturated fats in line with the DVs (Daily Values) set by the FDA. In fact, my diet pretty much meets the requirements for minerals, cholesterol, carbs, fats, etc. set forth by the FDA’s DV list.

9. Don’t eat a lot of fruits. They are very healthy, but also contain natural fructose, and other sugars which will NOT help you lose weight. I can’t stand grapefruit, which is a better fruit choice, so I don’t eat them. Eat fruit sparingly.

AGAIN: this is NOT dietary advice.  These recommendations are simply what “I” had to do to finally lose weight.

10. My food must be easy and quick to prepare – if I have to do much cooking at all, I won’t stick to it.

11. My food must be soft, since I am horribly lacking in teeth to chew it with (and cannot afford the oral surgery I need before I could get dentures). 😦  I occasionally will eat bananas, which does not seem to interfere with my weight loss. I once tried pureed apples, but it was too much work, so I stopped (applesauce has added sugar in most cases).

12. Take a multivitamin to make sure you are not missing something important, but don’t go crazy with supplements. Get potassium from food, not pills.

13. No fast food, at all. Try to do the Chinese buffet rarely, and try to make better choices when there. Chinese food has lots of sugars in their sauces. Eat lots of veggies, no breaded foods (deep fried), and less rice. Chinese food is my personal favorite.

14. Make sure to read all food labels. Eliminate anything which lists “sugar” or “high fructose corn syrup” in the ingredients. Try to eat the “least” processed foods you can. Get vegetables which are fresh, or, for canned food,  look for “no added salt” on the label. Watch for high levels of “saturated” fats or any “trans” fats. It is acceptable (politically correct) to be trans-phobic when it comes to fats! Become familiar with the FDA DV chart, especially concerning fats, carbs, protein, sodium, potassium, and cholesterol. Learn what to look for on labels…you will likely find that what you have been buying is loaded with nasty stuff that will keep you fat (and possibly unhealthy)! It is a mystery to me whether or not additives, such as coloring agents, flavorings, and preservatives have negative health affects.  I look for foods with the fewest of these items.

CHEATING: Everyone cheats occasionally (in relation to dieting. I am not referring to other forms of cheating!). If I am out with family for a holiday at a restaurant, I am not so careful. I still try to stay away from sugars, but I don’t obsess about what I order. Please note, that my cheating at an eating joint is VERY occasional. Only major holidays and maybe once every two or three months. IF you notice yourself cheating a lot (your mind has a tremendous capacity to minimize, without our even realizing it!), there is likely something not right with the diet you put yourself on. If done right, I believe you will be satisfied with what you eat, and will not feel the need to snack. Now, at first, some adjustment of habits, and of your body to the new food, may be needed before you stop being constantly hungry. After that, you should be good (we hope). I have been at this since I was a child – so be patient. Learn from my mistakes, and from all the things I have found which prevent a person’s weight from coming off.

COMFORT FOODS: I was a great sandwich person, which I had to give up to lose weight. Grains have too many carbs, sandwich meats may cause other weight-related problems, and ketchup (which I have a life-long love affair with) has high fructose corn syrup which most likely WILL sabotage your weight loss. I have substituted tomato paste, crushed tomatoes, apple cider vinegar (Bragg’s – which is much better than generic vinegar) and mustard instead. To kill any hunger problems I have, I use cheese, cottage cheese, and “natural” peanut butter (the kind with peanut oil which you have to stir). There is nothing like a few spoonfuls of peanut butter, straight from the jar, to completely kill any hunger pangs. These foods have some carbs (the cheeses), but not a lot. They also have some saturated fats, but also contain a lot of unsaturated fats, which are a good thing (unsaturated fats, especially Omega 3’s, can raise HDL, your “good” fats). Find some comfort foods, which fit into a healthy diet, and allow you to lose weight while eating them.

EATING OUT: See item #13.

FISH: In general, fish meat is (has been?) the best type of meat for human consumption. However, pollution has caused problems even with this food source. Plastic beads, mercury, chemicals killing the algae (essential for the survival of life), and more, are making this food somewhat problematic.

For practically every food or substance out there, there is someone who will tell you it is bad for your health. On the other hand, we either eat or die. I know there are problems with some foods I eat, but it is a matter of determining what is most healthy for you, and hope the bad stuff does not end up killing you. With all the controversies, lies, and half-truths, it is hard to know what a person is to do. In the end, you find what works for you, and ignore the rest. If mercury in my brain starts to become a problem, maybe then I will again alter what I am doing. Right now, weight is my most pressing health problem – at least one that I can do anything about.

I have found it necessary to combine ALL these things together in order to lose weight. In the past, I have been on many 1200 calorie “balanced” diets, in which I never lost a pound. It is a great shame, but the best government-provided information on healthy dieting, even  20-30 years ago, was exactly the WRONG way to lose weight (according to a more modern understanding)! It hurt me rather than helped me. It is only in recent decades that some of the REAL causes of weight gain, and some of the REAL answers to it, have become known (in my opinion). I have constantly researched all these things for decades, trying to sort the truth from the fiction, and finally found something that works, and fits my lifestyle and personality.  I had to become somewhat an expert in nutrition in order to understand what needed to be done in order to entice the body to shed fat. Maybe you, too, will need to do the same research to understand the requirements of your own body.

There are numerous chemicals allowed in the US, which have long been banned by most European developed countries. China is still using many of the same things we are, and are also suffering a great increase in “weight gain” and related problems. Yes, even the “skinny” Chinese are not so skinny any more. This should say something about all the fertilizers, herbicides, growth hormones, antibiotics, etc. which we (and the Chinese, and a few other countries) are still using. According to research, general environmental pollution is wreaking havoc on the health of so many people, and we are going to end all life on the planet if we don’t change our tune.

This was just supposed to be a short list of my own dietary requirements, but, being a blogger, I just could not help myself, and it has become an informational piece as well. If you are one of those overweight people, like me, who has run into a brick wall with weight loss, and out-of-control appetite (likely related to insulin levels), then maybe some items here might be the ones you need to become successful. Good Luck!



So, a seeker of Truth you claim to be…

Silly child, why seek for what you already possess?

The Truth is in the greatest Whole,

But you close your eyes and refuse to see,

The Truth is in the dimensionless Center within,

But you hold fingers to your ears and refuse to hear,

You say, “How can a mere mortal mind comprehend the Fullness?”,

But You ARE the Fullness of Truth,

You cannot grasp It, but must open to the Experience.


You have appointed for yourself a day of Understanding,

In that Day, you will open your eyes,

And it will be your Day of Judgement,

For you will know that You did it all to yourself.

You have appointed for yourself a day of Wisdom,

In that Day, you will remove the fingers from your ears,

And it will be your undoing,

As you hear the Celestial choirs.

For you will say, “Why did I wait so long; I knew It the whole time”,

And you shall know the absolute Joy you sought to find,

And True Love shall be your eternal Bliss.


Mark Kagy – 11/13/2014

What A Little Love, And Good Food, Can Do!

Holly 03/26/2013, when I first got her.
Holly 03/26/2013, when I first got her.
Holly Now 04/25/2015.
Holly Now 04/25/2015.
Gypsy 11/18/2012 skinny thing
Gypsy 11/18/2012 skinny thing
Gypsy Now 03/12/2015.
Gypsy Now 03/12/2015.

Cats at the shelter are stressed, don’t eat right, and may have come from abusive homes.  But just get them into a safe, calm, loving environment, and they perk up, and plump up just fine.  See what a little love (and good food) can do?!

It’s Monday Again…Read With Caution!

(NOTE: Random cat pic has nothing to do with the content of this post.  It is here for the sole (or soul) purpose of attracting your attention).

I don’t have any specific reason for hating Mondays, other than always feeling extra tired and crappy. Haven’t ever figured out why. Maybe always relaxing and taking it easy on weekends produces some “withdrawal” effect or something.

After having accounts on a few dating sites now for about 10-15 years or so, and never getting anywhere I want to go with them, I decided to cancel my accounts. I go through this cycle quite regularly (except for the cancelling part). I send out a bunch of messages to ladies who I think might have some slight interest in getting to know me (let’s say a batch of about 40). I usually get a small number of responses back. At least one or two are from respectful and considerate women informing me that they are indeed NOT in the slightest interested in knowing more about me. I may message back and forth a few times with one or three who suddenly are never to be heard from again. Out of the final one or two, I actually manage to take them out on a “date”…well, at least a “meet and greet”. You know what comes next – at least one of them is a no-match, either from her side or from mine.

If there is anyone left at this point, then I usually get to date her several more times before that final potential relationship goes “south”. At this point, I may decide to give it another go, and send out more messages (it feels too much like applying for a job). By the end of that round I am sure to be disgusted with the whole thing, and crawl back into “Merlin’s” man-cave to spend any number of months practicing the art of living a Hermit’s existence, until loneliness catches up to me and I do it all over again.

So in 10-15 years of sporadic online dating, I have found a couple of acquaintances, but no lasting relationships. Thus, this time I have decided to just give up on the online dating scene (for awhile anyway), as it seems to be working oh, so WELL for me so far. There has to be something better!

So I cancel my OKCupid account, and I surf over to my Plenty Of Fish (POF) account to do the same there, and what do you know….ya, you guessed it – I have a message waiting for me. OK, I do not have a high expectation for this prospect, but I would be remiss if I did not at least check this one out. So far, she does not really “seem” like the type of person who would make a good long-term partner for me, but let’s just keep an open mind to it. All will become evident with time. In one day, we went from messaging to talking on the phone – that is a good sign. I predict that we will meet in person this week sometime. From there, it is anyone’s guess. Who knows, I might actually get “lucky” this time.

So far I have not said anything about all the other incidental frustrations and problems with online dating sites (at least the free ones). There are more than a few men and women simply looking for a hand-out. I understand that our society has made it very difficult for so many people to simply meet their own survival needs, much less thrive as human beings. It does not surprise me at all that there would be so many who are trying to get a little (or lot of) help from others. Of course, some of these people ARE actually just lazy, and want someone to take care of them just like their parents did in the years prior to them getting “booted” out the door by those same disgruntled and thoroughly disgusted parents. Then there are the outright scams to separate the weak and trusting from their hard-earned money. There are all the women from “Ghana”, and the men in the “military” preying on anyone who will listen (these are two of the most common scams I have experienced, or heard women tell about – it does NOT mean that every lady from Ghana, or every military man is a scammer).

Then there are all those just looking for a good time. To tell the truth, most people are ultimately looking for sex, but on one hand are the players of both sexes, and on the other are those who want a sex partner, but who want it to last much longer than just a night or two. There are a small smattering of folks who actually only want a friend (platonic) or a pen pal. The problem with the players is that they never identify themselves up front, it is only after they get what they came for, and vanish into the sunset, that you find out the truth. So, you just have to take your chances. Then there are those who only want to sext, have phone or cyber sex, or just want to trade nudie pics.

So, the whole free dating site scene is not that conducive to finding long-term stable relationship partners unless you are willing to put in the time and effort to weed through the players, scams, and non-matches to get to the rare match. Some are willing to do that, but the level of physical energy I have to put into it is not that great, and we have not yet considered the cost of gas, food, and entertainment that dating requires (I am pretty short on that as well). It is perfectly OK for some people, but just is not working to my advantage.

So I think I will concentrate more on my blog, my health, and my spiritual life, and hope that there is someone left out there for me, and that God will bring us together.

All – in -all, seems like a typical grouchy Monday. Hey, it can only get better from here!

Alright, I Cry, OK?

I am a man of the 21st century, and of the Aquarian age. So, what, you ask?  So….I am one of the emotionally available men who sometimes cries at movies. Well, a lot of the time…OK, dammit, most of the time. There, are you happy, you got me to publically admit that I bawl like a freakin’ baby!

In this screwed-up society we live in, it is frowned upon and considered a weakness in men for them to express their emotions unless it is a “manly” emotion such as anger. Violence is built in to the fabric of our society. Although, in my lifetime I have thankfully seen many of the idiotic ways of society begin to change for the better, there is still so very far to go. The emotional availability which allows a man to cry at movies (or anytime) is actually a strength, not a weakness. Many of us were taught as children that men should not show their emotions in public, or ever.  I am afraid that an inability to share their feelings and emotions has damaged more than a few marriages.

Unfortunately, many men, and some women, still have the emotional IQ of a peanut!

When I cry at movies, it is NOT usually the tragic parts that get to me. I cry when I see great beauty expressed on film. That beauty can come in many forms like nobility, honor, extreme vulnerability, or yes, even sadness. I will discuss a few of the movies that really do it for me.

First, “Tears of the Sun”, where Lt. A.K. Waters (Bruce Willis), at the end of the movie, is being thanked by a Nigerian woman for ignoring his orders, and instead saves a group of civilian people from “ethnic cleansing”, including the young king who is the true heir to the role being stolen by political power-seekers. The beauty of choosing right over wrong, at extreme personal cost, is something that makes my heart cheer for joy, and my eyes melt like the wicked witch in the “Wizard of Oz” (another movie which also makes me cry).

Then there is the movie, “Meet Joe Black” (spoiler alert!). Bill Parrish (Anthony Hopkins), a rich and successful businessman, finds that he is going to die at the end of his 65th birthday party, and he is thinking about what his life, friends, and family have meant to him. Unlike many of the greedy and self-absorbed rich bastards, he has held on to his high standard, and kept his great honor. Towards the end of the movie, his daughter, excellently played by Claire Forlani, realizes that she is about to lose her father forever. Even though nothing about death is ever said between them, the daughter gives her father an incredibly fond farewell. The beauty of the immense love and respect between father and daughter is so compelling and heartwrenching that any sensitive person will be brought to tears.

And who can NOT cry during the magnificent “The Lord of the Rings” movies. The first movie, ” The Fellowship of the Ring”, where Sam risks drowning rather than being separated from his Frodo, and gives a little speech about not being forced to abandon Frodo after giving his word to watch over him and stay by his side, exhibits the beauty of loyalty and friendship. This is just one of several places in the trilogy of movies where I break down, and can no longer hold back the torrent of emotional tears.

The best place comes at the end of “The Return of the King”. The beauty of humility meets the beauty of personal courage and sacrifice in a combination which tears my heart wide open. It is the point at which Aragorn, the newly crowned king, humbles himself to bow down to the courage, honor, and self-sacrifice of the common little Hobbits, which makes all the difference in the horrendous fight between….?……you guessed it, good and evil, again, always. I can’t even write about this part without crying, which is currently wetting my keyboard.

Yes, it is the beauty of nobility, honor, sacrifice, and love which bring me to tears in very many movies. If anyone wants to brand me as being weak because of that, well fuck’em. At least I am capable of expressing MY feelings, and I am not emotionally repressed or unavailable. So there you have it, my confession of the day.

A Self-Analysis

I have described myself on the “About” page of my Blog, but I want to add a little more depth regarding my personality and thinking processes. There are multiple sides to my personality; the serious side, the loving side, and the snarktankerous side. Yes, I believe “snarktankerous is the “perfect” word to describe that way in which I present my frustrations or opinions about others, the world, governments, politics, and many other things. If you have read several of my other blog posts, you already know what I am talking about! The more spiritual posts, however showcase my more serious side, and also some of the loving, compassionate side of my character.

On one hand:

I am a cranky and cantankerous (snarktankerous), sarcastic, cynical, skeptical, stubborn, ornery, grouchy, grumpy, old bear growling in pain and anguish, disappointment, disillusionment, and hopelessness.

On the other:

I am sweet, kind, gentle, loving, affectionate, open, honest, giving, generous, compassionate, and magic when it comes to romance!  Yes, I accept it as true about the romance stuff.  I totally base it directly on the first-hand comments of satisfied customers.   8*)

On my third hand (ya, strange, I know):

I am a very serious person, and contemplate the deeper aspects of God and life. I have little time or patience for silliness or partying. I am very sensual in bed. My greatest joy is to be passionately, sensually, tenderly loving and sexual with a woman I care deeply about. This is when the sacred experience of two becoming one can be experienced first hand, the most magical act through which humans can get a glimpse of the future “conscious” union between God and human. This is the great “promise” that the rainbow signifies, that ultimate conscious reunion of humanity and their God. This is the original promise given to Noah in the Bible.

Who I am really deep inside is related to my sun sign, Virgo, but how I express that is related to my rising sign, or ascendant, Scorpio.

I am the “Hermit” (Tarot card related to Virgo), which carries with it a very serious responsibility, to give a helping hand to those who are less far along the path of enlightenment. I take this responsibility seriously. My external facade seems sometimes rough or gruff, but at the same time, in such a way as to be humorous, such that people readily understand the truly loving person behind the grouchy exterior. The wise and strict headmaster, who everyone knows is really a teddy bear inside, who loves them dearly.

This is exactly why we so love the great wizard characters in “Harry Potter”, and “The Lord of the Rings”. That’s very much like how I am. The great acts of wizards, their magic, relies on the transformative power of “Death” (Tarot card related to Scorpio). I express my responsibility to others through the power of transformation. What better tool of transformation than the power to gently lead or teach others a different and better way to be and live? This is my magic according to Astrology and Tarot which are also part of who I am.

Now, on the thinking process side of my mind:

I have found that I think much more slowly than most people. This is definitely true in conversation mode for me. Most people seem to have a constant stream of trivial crap perpetually ready and waiting to spew forth from their mouths. I, OTOH (On The Other Hand), have an impossible time trying to break into a conversation which never seems to have a break. While others are busy talking, I am formulating a thought I would like to share about something important to me, or related to the conversation. Many times, I never get to share that thought, and the moment is over, the conversation moves onward….without me. After years of frustration, I just stopped trying to formulate ideas, or even trying to attempt to join a conversation. I have a new theory for why I think the way I do.

I have been wondering if I might be slightly autistic. I don’t know if this is even possible. I have always been a daydreamer, especially when bored with whatever is going on (which is a lot of the time), which at one point was diagnosed as ADD (of the inattentive variety, no hyperactivity here!).

I am the type of person who boils everything down into its essence, and summarizes and conceptualizes subjects, so I tend to be more concise in my writing rather than verbose. That is part of what makes my mind different from most. I have observed that most people remember a whole lot of details, like what they ate for breakfast the previous day, or the make, model, and purchase date of their first car. I promptly forget details almost the minute I am finished with them, and only remember that I DID eat breakfast, because that is the important essence of what I need to remember. As far as I am concerned, what is already in my stomach is useless trivia. What is done, is done. I am the worst person on the planet at any kind of trivia or guessing game, even charades! The answers just are non-existent in my brain. I absolutely hated history, especially filling my brain with useless names and dates. Even when we know the past, we still end up repeating all the mistakes anyway, constantly, so why pretend that we learn anything from other’s past mistakes in the first place? Every one of us is insistent on learning everything the hard way – just look at how well children listen to their parents! Hehe (how well did YOU listen to your parents, huh!?).

I make a good generalist because I can remember the important highlights and summaries of lots of different subjects; I am wildly (and widely) eclectic. The specialist, OTOH, remembers large amounts of details about a more limited field of interest. I can see the need for both types, but in my own experience, I have run across so many more people who love the details, and can remember events, places, names, TV stars, movies, music groups, the individual members of those groups, their birthdays…..the list goes on and on. These details are all the things my mind does NOT have in it. I did not memorize the quadratic equation in grade school, instead, I remembered the theory behind it, and could re-derive the equation from “a” squared, plus “b” squared equals “c” squared, which was much easier to remember. I actually did the derivation during more than one test. I was really proud that I could do that. Most other people would be like, “why don’t you just memorize the fucking equation?”. That is just the way my mind works, on the summary and essence of what is really important. Weird, I know. I am wondering if there are any others out there who have experienced the same phenomenon? The important characteristic it gives me is that I think long and hard on things, even though it makes my mind appear slower to others, especially in conversations. I think slowly, but well, and thoroughly. I pay attention to details as I need to, and dump the details when I am through with them, have written them down, or have used them in whatever project or idea I am contemplating.

Like it or not, this is all ME. Thank you for reading (if you managed to get this far)! Now that I have written this, and backed it up, I can promptly forget all about it, except for the fact that I wrote an involved post regarding my character and thinking processes, which I can always consult if I ever want to remember the details of this self-analysis.  8^)


This is the last quote in the challenge, so I decided to include a quote from a well-loved source………..ME!  Now, you may think that is cheating, but I don’t see any rules against it.  In fact, I may just throw in a bonus quote from me as well.  If you don’t like it, well, it’s my blog and I’ll write whatever the F*** I want!  So there!

Here it is:

“Never leave Fate in Destiny’s hands.” – Mark Kagy

It’s not very hard to figure out.  Those who live life without goals or direction are at the whims of their circumstances, always reacting to external forces.  They never assert their will to make something specific of their life, or to make an impact on the people and planet around them.  This may actually turn out fine for many folks, but when they die, what is there to remember about them?  What did they do with their life?  For others, because they used no initiative to help themselves, they end up blown here and there by the winds of circumstance, always in a crisis, never able to get ahead, always reacting to change rather than causing their own change to happen.

Revelation 3:15-16, NIV:

15‘I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot; I wish that you were cold or hot.16‘So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of My mouth.”

We are all meant to live with passion, whatever we choose to do, be it good, or bad.  The only way to impact your life, and the world around you is to live with passion, and exert your will.  Act, rather than react.

I don’t mean for everyone to win the Nobel prize, or become an astronaut, or be a celebrity.  I just mean to take steps to control and direct your own life towards goals you set for yourself – whatever you want your life to be, based on your deepest desires.  Don’t repress those desires of your heart, act on them!  I certainly have not become famous, or won any great awards.  But I have purpose and direction.  This blog was started as a tool to accomplish a very personal goal – learning to get my ideas into a more organized form, and learning how to better express those ideas.  In practicing this, I am also becoming more sensitive to that small voice of intuition which provides Wisdom to all those who have ears to hear.  I am developing my inner senses to be more in tune with a higher spiritual purpose.  In order to know what that is, I need to listen carefully to my intuition, and my greatest desires.  This is not an easy process.  Try figuring out just what it is that you truly want or desire.  No, it is not easy, but in the end, I believe it will be worth it to all who take control of their own “vessel” and steer it in a specific direction, towards a specific destination.

So, I will include another quote of mine, which might just twist your mind a tiny bit.  Some will understand right away, and others may never get it.

“It is both at the same time – for all time, and in One place – everywhere.” – Mark Kagy

Have a great day!


This will be a shorter post….I promise (I think, maybe, or not)!


The quote for today:

“Every particular in nature, a leaf, a drop, a crystal, a moment of time is related to the whole, and partakes of the perfection of the whole.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson

The “Holographic Universe” theory is a (not so) recent scientific and mathematical theory which may actually apply literally to our Universe.  Basically, that every piece of the whole carries within it, an image or shadow of the whole itself.  Now obviously a leaf from a maple tree cannot possibly contain the entire universe, BUT it can contain a fuzzy or hazy view of the whole.  The idea is that if you take bigger and bigger pieces, the pattern of the whole contained within a bigger piece (like a solar system) becomes a clearer and more accurate picture of the whole.  Finally, if you take the entire Universe as the piece you are considering, then it certainly contains a perfect picture of the whole Universe!  Each small part of the Universe carries within it a portion of the perfection of God.  See how I just snuck (sneaked?) God into the discussion?

My view of God, as I have written in other posts, is a pseudo-pantheistic view.  In other words, I believe that the Universe IS a part of, and made from the very substance of, God.  God’s actual body, or the perfect “reflection” of God, made FROM God’s own substance.  But in addition, I also believe that part of God exists outside of the Universe as well.  Basically (ya, I like this word and use it a lot), God is everything that exists, AND everything else that does not.  The Unity of Everything and No-thing (Nothing).  Reminds me of the “Something, Everything” album by Todd Rundgren.

So yes, I definitely resonate with Ralph’s idea that “Every particular in nature…is related to the whole, and partakes of the perfection of the whole”.  Just substitute “God” for “the whole”, and you have a fair statement of what I personally believe.

If you want to know God better, one avenue to take is to look inside yourself.  Indeed, we are a direct reflection of God (made in the image of God, literally, Genesis 1:27).  We carry God within ourselves, and we are made of God’s substance. God lives within us, and we exist within God.

  1. That which is below is like that which is above & that which is above is like that which is below to do the miracles of one only thing
  2. And as all things have been & arose from one by the mediation of one: so all things have their birth from this one thing by adaptation.

The Emerald Tablet of Hermes, Newton’s translation, Wikipedia.

Another method of approaching the understanding of God, is to meditate upon small objects, seeking to find what EACH reveals about God.  As you meditate on more and more objects, a picture of God is built up in your mind, and progressively becomes clearer and more complete.  Of course, this is a lifetime (or multiple lifetime’s) occupation, but no one said it was easy (insert huge smiley face).

That’s all folks, for day two of the challenge.

Day One of the 3 Days, 3 Quotes Challenge

Thanks to Brighton Bipolar for the nomination!

I have the distinct honor (nice word, distinct, neither positive or negative, but it sounds good) of being nominated for the 3 Days, 3 Quotes Challenge.  The rules I am using is that for 3 days, I am to post a quote and express what that quote means to me.  In addition, I am to nominate 3 other poor souls to take the challenge as well.  This is to be done on the first day (it is supposed to be done all 3 days, but I am cheating).  Other than that, I guess it is just a free-for-all.

Here I am, asked to do this challenge by a loving friend, who I think more of than of myself.  So, I do this out of love for her.  Please go look at her site.  It is very worthwhile, entertaining, and most of all helpful to society by shedding light on bipolar disorder, and the stigmas society continues to hold toward the mentally challenged, through misinformation, ignorance, and bigotry.

First day, first quote:

“The planet is fine. The people are fucked.” – George Carlin

This has recently become more important to me in the light of the “global warming” controversy.  It certainly true that Mother Nature, Earth, Gaia, will outlast most any catastrophe wich sends all humans to their graves (or any large chunk of us). However it is disturbing that certain politicians and right-wing religious sects are promoting (willfully, or ignorantly) the likely fallacy that the climate changes are a natural occurrence of a cycle repeating itself once again, that our use of fossil fuels and other industrial processes have no part to play in this event, and that humanity is in no danger and will be fine without any changes.  I do agree that there IS a cyclical event involving climate change which regularly asserts itself on the planet.  I may very well be wrong, but wasn’t it during one of these cycles that the dinosaurs went extinct?  Scientific studies exist, which certain politicians, the religious groups which go along with them, and industrial concerns, desperately want to ignore, stifle, throttle, bury, control, and silence, which absolutely link our use of fossil fuels to effects on the ozone layer, and various other environmental conditions.  At a MINIMUM, these human actions will at least aggravate the natural cycle of climate change, which could end up killing us.  It is possible that the cycle itself alone could kill us all, and aggravating it seems a very foolish thing for us to do.  In addition, there are studies which show the dying off of the ocean’s algae, from which MOST of our oxygen is produced. This is also scientifically linked to industrial pollutants being dumped into the oceans.  Now, don’t ask me for references, I know I have seen these things, but did not bother to remember where or write them down.  This controversy has been raging for years, and even today there are posts about it.  My blog is mainly for me, if you read it, it is at your own peril.  My point here is NOT to prove it to anyone else, but simply for me to say WHY “I” am concerned about Gaia, and what this quote means to “me”. So there you have it, my quote for day one.

Now, the dirty task of passively-aggressively manipulating others by nominating them for this “challenge”.  I think I will pick bloggers who have material I like, but who I do not know very well.  That way, they will not feel as obligated, and not as bad refusing or ignoring the challenge.  I don’t want to make any body’s life more stressful than it already is!

Here they are:

Kate’s blog “Carrots in My Carryon” –  Her courage in sharing her deepest struggles and wounds, and her determination to find solutions and healing, is inspiring.

Annie’s blogs “Gentle Kindness”  and “Annie’s Poetry”  – I really appreciate her kind and loving spirit, and her supportive and inspiring encouragement to all.  She seems to me to write very prolifically (or I read slowly) because I have to struggle to keep up with her posts!

painkills2’s blog “All Things Chronic”  – Wow, there is just a whole lot of good stuff to look at here!

There ya go, day one.