Tag Archives: Cell Phone

“Pop Goes The Ringtone”

Your phone is ringin’
off the hook,
it’s prolly just a scammer.
They’ll steal your cash
so if you’re an ass,
pick up the freakin’ phone.

Your phone is ringin’,
it’s prolly your boss,
you’re suppoz’ta be at work,
but you, dumbhead,
are still in the bed.
Get the freakin’ phone.

The phone is ringin’
off the hook,
but who could it be?
Maybe your friend
wants more money again.
Answer the freakin’ phone.

The phone’s goin’ crazy,
but who could it be?
It says an “unknown number”.
So grow a pair,
and if you dare,
answer the freakin’ phone.

The phone is ringin’,
it’s probably your mom;
she wants to talk your ass off.
Hour ‘n’ a half,
she still wants to yack.
Pick up the freakin’ phone.

 

Coming soon in a “.mp3”.  I have the “R”-rated nasty version.  8*)

You think my artwork is so bad that it’s funny, you should hear me sing this little ditty!  Yes, “I”, a 56-year old man, drew the weasel….Don’t make fun of me!  I don’t have a young kid to do it for me!  That’s the best I can manage…

Advertisements

My Dire-y 05/21/2015, All B 4 Lunch

Great day today!  Not.  My plumber who was supposed to show up between 8am and 10am, didn’t.  My Internet went down, or out, or down AND out around 11am and is still out.  So I am using my smartphone for this post (well, not much else to do).  And my cat, Holly, decided to deposit her lunch all over my couch.  All this before noon.

Wonder what the rest of the day has in store?  Has the bad energy blown itself out, or will inertia carry it through the rest of the day?  Let’s see,  Thursday is Thor’s day, so that means Jupiter, the “Great Beatific” is in charge.  That is generally a good thing…then again, maybe a little trouble is exactly what I need most today (who can follow the purposes of the Universe).  Saturn, the planet of inertia, is in charge of Saturday (Saturn day, get it?) so maybe I will be OK.  Maybe I should consult an astrologer, or psychic?  Na, I’m good.

So I hope all of you (all 29 of you) are having a great day.  Without my Internet, I am reduced to posting, checking email, and watching really old shows on standard, over-the-air TV.  I got rid of cable TV about a year ago, ’cause I didn’t watch it that much, and I needed to save money (especially so I can blow it on new tech “toys”).  Hey, we only live once, and I really don’t need natural gas service during the summer, do I?  They won’t mind if I have it turned off till late fall, will they?   $+)

I am liking my new smartphone.  I can pretty much do everything I can do with my other computers (just not as easily, especially with my poor eyesight).  When the wi-fi goes out, 3G-4G will do the job.  The only thing, see, is that web surfing can eat up my monthly quota of 1GB of data per month really fast like.  Once you go past that, we’re talkin’ big money for any extra data above that.  So…that’s why I said that I am limited in what I can do without my wi-fi Internet service.

Well, at 12:30pm, just now, the wi-fi came back on.  Things are looking up!  Maybe Jupiter was just lazy this morning, or in the john (“loo” for you Brits) with the sh*ts.  Whatever, I’m getting interested in this show on TV and typing on this teensy weensy keyboard is getting old, so……later…..

Review of the “Tinder” Android App

The only part of the Tinder dating app that I like, is that it pi**ed me off so bad I just HAD to write this review. I just LOVE to B*tch! A shortened “Short Version” was published in the Google Play Store for this app, but because of space limitations on reviews there, I post both short and complete versions of my review here, of this (mostly) useless app.

SHORT VERSION:

This app is not even worth downloading and trying. And, for your own sake, do not buy it! The other free dating sites/apps, “Plenty Of Fish”, (POF), and “OKCupid”, (OKC), are infinitely more useful, and you can get dates, completely for free.

First, many people include NO information, only pics. Not much to go on, leading to many frustrating failures to “launch”.

The policy of “once you throw a person away, they are gone forever”, is the stupidest policy ever. Do you make mistakes? (If you PAY, you can get back the last mistake only. How generous of them!)

You are forced to give tinder your phone number to use the app, and can only ever create ONE account with that number, No do-overs if you make a mistake.

The user interface is designed in such a way that you can easily, INADVERTENTLY, throw away multiple people/profiles, before stopping yourself. You never got a chance to explore them at all. See my Google+ login for the full review which I will post there because space limitations have “Scroogled” (most likely copyright Microsoft Corp.) me here in the Google Play Store.

********************************************************

LONG VERSION WITH DETAILS:

This app is not even worth downloading and trying. And, for your own sake, do not buy it! The other free dating sites/apps, “Plenty Of Fish”, (POF), and “OKCupid”, (OKC), hereinafter known as “the others”, are infinitely more useful, and you can get dates, completely for free (they also have paid premium versions).

First, “the others” prompt you to enter the important stuff that people want to see, and search against, to find suitable matches, such as age, smoking status, height, pets, children… and so on. Tinder allows you to write a profile, but you are all on your own, you completely control how much information is presented, or non at all, and must remember to include the important stuff people want to see (or not at all). Now personally, I need to see/search on certain information in order to have a viable match at all – it isn’t there in most profiles. These are my own personal “Deal Breakers”. We all have them, and not all that info is based on looks, or can be seen in the pics. So, if some decide to leave it out, you either dump them in the “Bucket”, or go ahead with the match, and hope that later, at least ONE of them will meet your dating criteria. Also, there is no searching in tinder, you only get to choose a few little details, like how far from your location you want the search to cover, but for the most part, you only see what they want you to see, no user choice. The others DO.

The worst part, for me is their policy that once you throw a profile into the “bit bucket”(throw them away), except for only the very LAST one you threw away, and then only if you PAY, is the most idiotic, asinine, stupid, manipulative, limiting, policy, I have ever had the opportunity to encounter. What dater in their right mind wants to PERMANENTLY delete choices, which there is no way of ever getting back? Certainly not me. You may start out keeping only the “best” matches for you, only to regret that decision later, when none of THEM want to date YOU!

The app actually does what they say it does. BUT: one method of looking through a person’s multiple pics is by “left swiping” through them. Well, by design, the “left swipe” is also one method used to permanently throw people into the “trash”. If, while you are “left swiping” through a person’s pics, you inadvertently happen to tap on the screen just slightly a little too much, the display reverts to the selection screen, and the person you were looking at, swiping through their pics, is now, unintentionally deleted forever. Now, if you happen to be quickly “left swiping” through multiple pics of the same person (as I tried to do), and don’t catch yourself quickly enough, you end up discarding, forever, multiple choices you didn’t mean to throw away. This is the most idiotic user interface design I have ever, in my long programming career, seen. Stupid, stupid, stupid. If you want to be totally frustrated trying to find a date, then by all means, download away!

Oh, did I mention that I tried to create a second account, to start fresh? Well, I did TRY, and as long as you are on the same phone, it isn’t allowed, you simply can’t do it. You are REQUIRED to give your cell phone number to tinder in order to get an account (so they can set up an anonymous connection between users, using your phone’s text messaging), which I consider an invasion of my privacy. I have not given my number to any of “the others”. I have not tried creating a new account on a different phone, mainly because I have only ONE, and I am surely not going to buy a new one just to start over on tinder. All around, I give tinder only one star. I would have given less, but really, in good conscience, I can’t, because regardless of the difficulties and frustrations, the app does what they claim it does, and in the end, it IS possible to get a date for free with this app (at least I think it is).

******************************************************