Tag Archives: love

Unity

This is exactly how I feel about all humanity, not just Christians. This post is written from a Christian perspective, but the same idea can also be extended to bridge the gap between religions, if people are open-minded and loving enough to accept the idea.

Christian INTP

How do Christians come together in unity? This is probably one of those questions that has vexed many over the ages. How is it possible to show Jesus to the rest of the world when we have a hard time loving other Christians (John 13:35)?
It seems there are at least 200 official, distinct, denominations in North America alone with worldwide estimates of various sects being around 33,000. Many of these seem to be in existence because of issues arising from how one group sees some passages versus the other. However, this isn’t just about the traditional congregations that we all know. As I’ve continued my journey, I see many Christians outside of the institutions are just as divided as those inside. I’m not speaking to being united within a congregation alone but with all Christians that profess love for Jesus.
Now, there are those that would seek to promote their view over…

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A Self-Analysis

I have described myself on the “About” page of my Blog, but I want to add a little more depth regarding my personality and thinking processes. There are multiple sides to my personality; the serious side, the loving side, and the snarktankerous side. Yes, I believe “snarktankerous is the “perfect” word to describe that way in which I present my frustrations or opinions about others, the world, governments, politics, and many other things. If you have read several of my other blog posts, you already know what I am talking about! The more spiritual posts, however showcase my more serious side, and also some of the loving, compassionate side of my character.

On one hand:

I am a cranky and cantankerous (snarktankerous), sarcastic, cynical, skeptical, stubborn, ornery, grouchy, grumpy, old bear growling in pain and anguish, disappointment, disillusionment, and hopelessness.

On the other:

I am sweet, kind, gentle, loving, affectionate, open, honest, giving, generous, compassionate, and magic when it comes to romance!  Yes, I accept it as true about the romance stuff.  I totally base it directly on the first-hand comments of satisfied customers.   8*)

On my third hand (ya, strange, I know):

I am a very serious person, and contemplate the deeper aspects of God and life. I have little time or patience for silliness or partying. I am very sensual in bed. My greatest joy is to be passionately, sensually, tenderly loving and sexual with a woman I care deeply about. This is when the sacred experience of two becoming one can be experienced first hand, the most magical act through which humans can get a glimpse of the future “conscious” union between God and human. This is the great “promise” that the rainbow signifies, that ultimate conscious reunion of humanity and their God. This is the original promise given to Noah in the Bible.

Who I am really deep inside is related to my sun sign, Virgo, but how I express that is related to my rising sign, or ascendant, Scorpio.

I am the “Hermit” (Tarot card related to Virgo), which carries with it a very serious responsibility, to give a helping hand to those who are less far along the path of enlightenment. I take this responsibility seriously. My external facade seems sometimes rough or gruff, but at the same time, in such a way as to be humorous, such that people readily understand the truly loving person behind the grouchy exterior. The wise and strict headmaster, who everyone knows is really a teddy bear inside, who loves them dearly.

This is exactly why we so love the great wizard characters in “Harry Potter”, and “The Lord of the Rings”. That’s very much like how I am. The great acts of wizards, their magic, relies on the transformative power of “Death” (Tarot card related to Scorpio). I express my responsibility to others through the power of transformation. What better tool of transformation than the power to gently lead or teach others a different and better way to be and live? This is my magic according to Astrology and Tarot which are also part of who I am.

Now, on the thinking process side of my mind:

I have found that I think much more slowly than most people. This is definitely true in conversation mode for me. Most people seem to have a constant stream of trivial crap perpetually ready and waiting to spew forth from their mouths. I, OTOH (On The Other Hand), have an impossible time trying to break into a conversation which never seems to have a break. While others are busy talking, I am formulating a thought I would like to share about something important to me, or related to the conversation. Many times, I never get to share that thought, and the moment is over, the conversation moves onward….without me. After years of frustration, I just stopped trying to formulate ideas, or even trying to attempt to join a conversation. I have a new theory for why I think the way I do.

I have been wondering if I might be slightly autistic. I don’t know if this is even possible. I have always been a daydreamer, especially when bored with whatever is going on (which is a lot of the time), which at one point was diagnosed as ADD (of the inattentive variety, no hyperactivity here!).

I am the type of person who boils everything down into its essence, and summarizes and conceptualizes subjects, so I tend to be more concise in my writing rather than verbose. That is part of what makes my mind different from most. I have observed that most people remember a whole lot of details, like what they ate for breakfast the previous day, or the make, model, and purchase date of their first car. I promptly forget details almost the minute I am finished with them, and only remember that I DID eat breakfast, because that is the important essence of what I need to remember. As far as I am concerned, what is already in my stomach is useless trivia. What is done, is done. I am the worst person on the planet at any kind of trivia or guessing game, even charades! The answers just are non-existent in my brain. I absolutely hated history, especially filling my brain with useless names and dates. Even when we know the past, we still end up repeating all the mistakes anyway, constantly, so why pretend that we learn anything from other’s past mistakes in the first place? Every one of us is insistent on learning everything the hard way – just look at how well children listen to their parents! Hehe (how well did YOU listen to your parents, huh!?).

I make a good generalist because I can remember the important highlights and summaries of lots of different subjects; I am wildly (and widely) eclectic. The specialist, OTOH, remembers large amounts of details about a more limited field of interest. I can see the need for both types, but in my own experience, I have run across so many more people who love the details, and can remember events, places, names, TV stars, movies, music groups, the individual members of those groups, their birthdays…..the list goes on and on. These details are all the things my mind does NOT have in it. I did not memorize the quadratic equation in grade school, instead, I remembered the theory behind it, and could re-derive the equation from “a” squared, plus “b” squared equals “c” squared, which was much easier to remember. I actually did the derivation during more than one test. I was really proud that I could do that. Most other people would be like, “why don’t you just memorize the fucking equation?”. That is just the way my mind works, on the summary and essence of what is really important. Weird, I know. I am wondering if there are any others out there who have experienced the same phenomenon? The important characteristic it gives me is that I think long and hard on things, even though it makes my mind appear slower to others, especially in conversations. I think slowly, but well, and thoroughly. I pay attention to details as I need to, and dump the details when I am through with them, have written them down, or have used them in whatever project or idea I am contemplating.

Like it or not, this is all ME. Thank you for reading (if you managed to get this far)! Now that I have written this, and backed it up, I can promptly forget all about it, except for the fact that I wrote an involved post regarding my character and thinking processes, which I can always consult if I ever want to remember the details of this self-analysis.  8^)

DAY TWO OF THE 3 DAYS, 3 QUOTES CHALLENGE

This will be a shorter post….I promise (I think, maybe, or not)!

}8*)-|–<

The quote for today:

“Every particular in nature, a leaf, a drop, a crystal, a moment of time is related to the whole, and partakes of the perfection of the whole.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson

The “Holographic Universe” theory is a (not so) recent scientific and mathematical theory which may actually apply literally to our Universe.  Basically, that every piece of the whole carries within it, an image or shadow of the whole itself.  Now obviously a leaf from a maple tree cannot possibly contain the entire universe, BUT it can contain a fuzzy or hazy view of the whole.  The idea is that if you take bigger and bigger pieces, the pattern of the whole contained within a bigger piece (like a solar system) becomes a clearer and more accurate picture of the whole.  Finally, if you take the entire Universe as the piece you are considering, then it certainly contains a perfect picture of the whole Universe!  Each small part of the Universe carries within it a portion of the perfection of God.  See how I just snuck (sneaked?) God into the discussion?

My view of God, as I have written in other posts, is a pseudo-pantheistic view.  In other words, I believe that the Universe IS a part of, and made from the very substance of, God.  God’s actual body, or the perfect “reflection” of God, made FROM God’s own substance.  But in addition, I also believe that part of God exists outside of the Universe as well.  Basically (ya, I like this word and use it a lot), God is everything that exists, AND everything else that does not.  The Unity of Everything and No-thing (Nothing).  Reminds me of the “Something, Everything” album by Todd Rundgren.

So yes, I definitely resonate with Ralph’s idea that “Every particular in nature…is related to the whole, and partakes of the perfection of the whole”.  Just substitute “God” for “the whole”, and you have a fair statement of what I personally believe.

If you want to know God better, one avenue to take is to look inside yourself.  Indeed, we are a direct reflection of God (made in the image of God, literally, Genesis 1:27).  We carry God within ourselves, and we are made of God’s substance. God lives within us, and we exist within God.

  1. That which is below is like that which is above & that which is above is like that which is below to do the miracles of one only thing
  2. And as all things have been & arose from one by the mediation of one: so all things have their birth from this one thing by adaptation.

The Emerald Tablet of Hermes, Newton’s translation, Wikipedia.

Another method of approaching the understanding of God, is to meditate upon small objects, seeking to find what EACH reveals about God.  As you meditate on more and more objects, a picture of God is built up in your mind, and progressively becomes clearer and more complete.  Of course, this is a lifetime (or multiple lifetime’s) occupation, but no one said it was easy (insert huge smiley face).

That’s all folks, for day two of the challenge.

My Dire-y 06/16/2015, For Cat People

As I approach the contraband laying on the floor in front of my favorite couch, I glance over at my kitties.  The guilty one is slowly slinking away with tail towards the floor.  Without a single word, I have found the guilty party.  I, of course, already knew this.  As cat owners, we all know who is guilty of what.  We know their personalities, their habits, their likes, and dislikes.  I know which cat (Gypsy) gets in the trash at night, and which one puts her toys in the water bowl (Gypsy), and who sneaks into the window curtains at night while I am asleep (both, but more Holly, and I can tell by which vertical blinds are pushed aside – they each have a particular spot), and which lady shits outside the box in protest (Holly; Gypsy actually goes behind Holly, and finishes the job of excrement coverage that Holly only gave paw-service to).  Yes, as cat people, we know who does what.

My downstairs trash can has (“Incorrect verb form after modal”, Fuck You, Grammar Nazi!) a rectangular piece of heavy cardboard, molded into a kind of garden planter shape.  It was part of the packing material from some computer equipment package or another……..probably.  It is exactly the proper size, when fitted upside-down inside the trash can, to snuggly fit inside, and bar access to the mostly paper and plastic trash hiding underneath.  Cats, being the resourceful and sneaky little bastards they are,  and Gypsy, an excellent example of the type, find such things to be a challenge to be overcome, rather than a “KEEP PAWS OUT!” sign.  Today it was a piece of cellophane, you know, the kind you pull off the outside of a new CD or DVD to get to the goods inside.  Cats just love this stuff.  The noise it makes while they pounce and chew only adds to their kitty-pleasure as they attack and destroy their hated foe.  To get at this little “toy”, I found that Gypsy had totally turned the blocking-block of cardboard upside-down, still resting inside the trash can.  I suppose she thought to hide the deed by not overturning the can, and by not digging the block completely out of the can.  But she failed to hide the plastic itself which was the real giveaway.

Yes, cats are much smarter and more resourceful than given credit for in the public eye.  I had taken to hiding the paper bag of cat food in the closet so that the little critters would not tear into the bag and spill cat food all over creation (my closet floor).  Now this closet, has the type of doors which fold onto themselves accordion style, and to the side when pulled from the center.  You know the type.  Thankfully one day, I spied Gypsy (yes, the naughtiest of the two) carefully reach her little white paw easily beneath the center of said door, and proceed to pull outward, opening the door.  Arrrgh, next I had to add a heavy weight in front of the center of the door, to keep them (you know who “them” are) from opening the door to the fascinating closet in which resides the desirable bag of cat food.

I have one of those plastic tubs, the kind you can get a gallon of ice cream in, from the grocery.  They are perfect for keeping dry cat food fresh, with a tight-fitting lid…air tight.  One morning I arose to an aborted attempt to get at the cat food.  somehow they had managed to get the lid off, and push the container off the counter and onto the floor.  Now, it wasn’t quite the mess you would expect.  Somehow, God only knows, the tub ended up upside-down on the kitchen floor, on an area rug in front of the sink.  All of the dry cat food was still inside the container, and resting on the rug, with not a single crumb outside the tub (or maybe they ate all the ones that were).  BUT…………………………………..this was not their last attempt.

I keep the tub towards the back of the counter, kinda in a corner.  One day, they managed to pull the tub out from the counter.  Then, they very carefully extracted the lid, and very neatly laid it upside-down on the counter behind the tub.

I am sure they had a feast that night!

Damn nosy-naughty-obstinate-stubborn-smartass-resourceful-stomach-driven-cute-little-furballs, full of headaches, fun, surprises, and even grudging shows of affection.  They manage to show just the right amount of love and innocence needed, to keep you from being mad at them for more than a millisecond.  Don’t try to tell me cats are not smart!  They know exactly how to emotionally manipulate their “human’s” to get exactly what they want (which, not surprisingly, is mostly always FOOD).

I growl and complain,

but love them just the same.

They know exactly when to crawl onto your lap, purr, and knead your leg (painfully), while manipulating and seducing you into scratching behind their ears, and with half-closed eyes, give a purrrrfect impression of a little companion who loves, adores, and desperately needs your love, affection, and attention – mostly in the kitchen.

No, don’t tell me cats are not freakin’ smart!

Huh, Well Whaddya Know

This is all brand new to me. As just an ordinary (more or less) person, with no special training in writing or communications, I have been at this now for about 2 months or so. My whole goal was strictly personal, simply to use it as a tool to order my thoughts more clearly, as a result of forcing myself to write them down, and also as a form of therapy. I sorta write the way I talk, and I am not especially worried about correct usage or grammar. In fact I get to swearing at the blasted machine when it highlights all these areas where I need a comma, or more often, when I choose to use one, and it says it is unnecessary, or even incorrect. Ya know, I’m gonna put the blasted commas wherever I damn well please, thank you, and I really don’t care greatly if it is technically correct or not! I would say I don’t give a shit, especially since I am not doing this for popularity, or for money, but honestly, that would be a little too harsh. The matter really is that underneath it all, I really AM somewhat interested in writing something that people will want to read, and I do care that it mostly be (incorrect verb form with personal pronoun) in proper form. I get annoyed myself at people who make common grammatical mistakes, and make common mistakes in word choice. I did get mostly “A”s in high school and college English after all. By using the simple, and sometimes frustrating spell checkers and auto-correction tools, one has no excuse for tons of silly mistakes.  The freakin’ tools are free, for God’s sake, take a second to use them! (this is aimed only at those who don’t, and whose conversations are riddled with mistakes, many of which are mostly unreadable.  Don’t accuse me of targetting YOUR specific writing unless, of course, the shoe fits, or the foo shits, either one).

Everyone thinks their life is boring, or at least uninteresting to anyone else. I am like that too, but I learned something from reading all these blogs that are simply accounts of the ordinary daily occurrences of typical human beings. I found that as long as they are well written, these posts are not nearly as boring or uninteresting as their writers seem to think they are. After about two months of this, I have collected about 60 followers. Now maybe that is peanuts to what a pro would expect, or someone with a large ego, but I never expected anyone, really, to be interested in the daily happenings of my boring life, or the stream-of-consciousness ramblings of my mind, or even the thought-out, serious spiritual posts I have been doing. Feedback has been quite surprising, even shocking. Now eloquent is NOT a word “I” would use to describe any of my writing, but I have been told exactly that, by more than one person (and NOT family, who are at least biased, and possibly obligated to say good things). I have been told that I am funny.  Now, I will agree that sometimes I can be slightly humorous, but not ROTFLMAO funny. Also people have commented that I am either intellectual, or insightful.  Again, I would slightly agree that my serious posts are somewhat intellectual, especially the spiritual ones. The whole point of this paragraph is that, the seemingly ordinary and boring occurrences of our lives, are actually much more interesting to others than we realize (as long as they are at least somewhat well written). Also, that evidently I am a lot more interesting, funny, and insightful than I ever would have given myself credit for being. One conclusion that can be postulated is that blogging CAN be an effective way to bolster your self-esteem, and combat loneliness and depression.

One of my close friends, who I love, told me that blogging can be a great way to meet people, and as a result, actually form romantic relationships with them.  One thing I suffer terribly with, (improper comma between subject and verb) is loneliness.  I have been very lonely, for a very long time, not to mention the state of my sex life!  I never(incorrect placement of negative adverb, well fuck me!) would have thought of blogging as a dating tool, but my friend insisted that it can be done, after all, I met HER that way! (insert snide smiley….Oops, emoji, here).  So ladies, feel free to contact me (even if it isn’t for a date), and DO comment on my posts.  Guys, you are welcome to contact me or comment on my posts, but we will not be dating (that’s just me).

I certainly never set out to collect any certain type of follower.  If anything, I was just curious if anybody would read my crap.  I have, however, collected a number of people who suffer from bipolar disorder, which I understand, and have experience with as a social worker in a group home setting.  This was in the past, but not that long ago, and I worked at it for 6 years.  To those followers I want to say…if you think your life is something that nobody would be interested in reading about…the normal daily events of a person with bipolar disorder, are anything BUT boring or uninteresting.  In some cases, those events can be incredibly entertaining, and informative, to the reader (although a tough struggle to live through).  Never think that your courage in bringing your private lives to the public will remain unnoticed and/or unappreciated, or that the events of your lives have even the slightest chance of boring your audience!  Keep up the illuminating and helpful work you are doing.

Huh, well whaddya know, I never would have thought anyone would actually ENJOY reading the stuff I write!  Thank you all for following my blog, (incorrect use of comma) and for giving me so much unexpected and surprising (to me) feedback.  Peace, Love, and Happiness to you all!

My Dire-y 06/03/2015, Pooped

Now that Holly the cat has your attention (cheap trick, I know.  She has absolutely nothing to do with this blog post).

I had a very good, and very tiring day today. I have a good friend that I have seen very seldom, for far too long. We definitely love each other, and each other’s company. Through a set of very unfortunate circumstances, she had to have her left leg amputated. I am sure it has been a terribly rough time for her, readjusting to life in a wheelchair, and learning to use a prosthesis. Right now she can only walk a short distance on it, but is diligently practicing to improve. We are somewhat similar in personality, at least in the fact that we are both intellectual, and snarky….very snarky. In fact, the word snarktankerous very perfectly describes my own personality.

One of the things she does for the pure pleasure of it is gardening, so off to Lowes we went for herbs, pots, and dirt….not just any dirt, but “special” dirt, specifically formulated with the greatest of care to maximize the quality of life for a few lucky plants. These plants should be exceedingly grateful that they are being tended by my long-time friend.

Now, in case you don’t know me from reading my past blog posts, I will tell you that I have a rare disorder which eats up my motor nerves, so I am now much weaker than I should be, and have muscle atrophy as a result. Most of the trouble is in my left hand/arm and right leg. If I fall, I cannot get up unless there is a chair, wall, or other object to grab and push on with my hands/arms because of the weakness of my legs. Also, my left hand is so weak that I have lost probably 85% of its normal function. Oh, and if that isn’t enough, I am extremely fatigued ALL the time. On bad days, I simply don’t have the energy to leave the house, and spend the day sitting on the couch, or sleeping.

Now why have I reminded you of all this? Well, it is relevant to my story, so relax, you will understand in a moment, I promise. Even when I go grocery shopping, by the time I get back home and have put everything in its proper place, it is all I can do to get my clothes changed, and make it to the couch. I am pooped for the rest of the day. So later, when we got back to her place and I had unloaded 4 bags of dirt, carrying them to where they needed to be, I was out of breath and my heart was beating strong and fast, from just that little bit of effort. I get worn out very quickly and easily.

But the story of my day is nowhere near over yet.  Backing up a tad bit…  She also wanted to check out a community center where they have fitness equipment and a huge pool. She has been wanting to swim in the strongest of ways for quite some time. So we got there and checked out the pool which was enormous! There was a water slide along with several sections of poolage which all kinda ran together as one. It was gorgeous! Now, since I am on disability, and have a Humana Medicare plan which will pay for a membership at a fitness place that supports the Silver Sneakers program, AND I had been thinking for a long time about how much I love to be in water….long story short – I now have a completely paid-for (not directly by me) membership. It was her intention from the start to get a membership for herself, so…well…she did. Now this pretty much obligates me to take her there several times a week to swim. Seein’ as how I had been loathe to leave my house ’cause frankly, it just seemed like too damned much effort, I really could use the exercise and the time away from my man-cave. Also considering her need for a driver, it seems like a match made in heaven.  Who knows, maybe I can find a girlfriend there….hey, it could happen.

So, by the time I got back home, I was thoroughly pooped! It was a good day though, with some stimulating discussions. At some point, our snarkiness comes into full play as we lament the sorry state of our beloved government, and its fucking total mismanagement of the country, and total corruption, caused by selfishness, complete disregard for the divinity and sanctity of anyone not in their “club”, and their lust for money. Mostly the latter. Then we move on to snarkin’ about how, after all these millennia, and the social awareness that is present in the minds and hearts of so many people today, could there possibly still exist so many miscreants who are chomping at the bit to kill, torture, rape, enslave, control, and commit violence just for fun (more likely for cash)? We moan about our inability to stop wars, racism, and classism, and promote goodwill and brotherly/sisterly love. We agonize in vain for a way to convince people to simply value ALL human life equally and put an end to heinous animal cruelty, and to the masses of starving human beings (most especially the children), while the selfish “Scrouges” sit pretty in their castles counting out their incredible stash of the world’s money. This most terrible human injustice remains uncorrected while the “Beast” continues to have a field day, actively enslaving all humanity.

Yes, it was a VERY good day!